Who is the better Mama?

Who is the better Mama?

One thing is certain: every mom wants to be a "good" mom. And automatically has a certain image in her head of what that means for her. Most of the time, we feel relatively secure in these assumptions and intentions - as long as there is no headwind. But if we come into contact with mothers who have a completely different point of view on certain topics from everyday life as a mom, we quickly feel attacked. Depending on the type, we tend to get rattled, justify ourselves, go on the offensive in a hot-tempered way, or withdraw in a huff. But what follows the first, intuitive reaction is the same for most moms: we bitch about those who do things differently than we do.

Moms who stay home with their kids for a long time call moms who go back to work early selfish. Mothers who have spontaneous deliveries feel superior to mothers who have had a C-section. Breastfeeding mothers pity mothers who give their child a bottle. Mothers whose children sleep alone in the nursery at an early age smile at mothers who are convinced of the family bed. Moms who travel a lot with their babies feel more confident compared to moms who prefer to spend most of their time cozily at home. The list could go on forever: Pacifiers, weaning, vaccinating, eating, watching videos, kindergarten, diapers - quickly an everyday topic is turned into an ideological battle. And in no time, you're pigeonholed.

Why do we do this? Why do we always fall into the blasphemy pattern? Surely we don't need to badmouth others so that we can stand by our own point of view. Let's stop the pointless comparing. Let's not stoop to envy and resentment. Let's admit to ourselves that we are simply all different. That you can hardly compare one family situation with another. Just because others do things differently doesn't automatically make it an attack on what we do.

Let's stick together instead. Let's be happy for moms who have kids who sleep through the night quickly - especially when we ourselves are up night after night and know how hard it is. Let's admire moms who manage to successfully manage a job and kids at a very early age. Let's support moms who courageously choose their own path. Even if we wouldn't do the same ourselves. Because that's not the point.

I think we all have more than enough to do with being a "good" mom. So let's not waste unnecessary energy trying to be "the better" mom.