When I first became a mom to Romeo over three years ago, I always thought it wouldn't happen to me. I wouldn't project expectations onto my children. I would be above it. I would be the easy and cool mum (does that even exist?).
Three years and a daughter later, here I am and it hasn't just happened once, it's happened several times. I project expectations onto my children. Completely unknowingly and unintentionally. When I was pregnant with my little Noelle, I imagined brushing her hair and tying her in a cute braid. Sometimes when I think back on it, I have to smile at myself. In reality, it looks like this: I'm running after Noelle with the brush all over the apartment, trying to catch a few strands of hair and somehow "tie" her into some kind of messy bun while tripping over a thousand toys.
Even with our campaign shoot, it was one of those things with expectations. I imagined how much fun it would be for Noelle. How we would laugh and dance together. I went to our shoot full of expectations, had everything prepared and was really looking forward to it. A few takes later, I realized that my usually bright little Noelli was suddenly totally intimidated and felt most comfortable on my arm. There was no longer any thought of dancing pictures together. At first I was disappointed with myself for not having done better, for not having prepared her better, for not having done better. But once I accepted that the day would just go differently, but still beautifully - my little girl snuggled in my arm, shyly tucked behind my leg - it ended up being just as beautiful.
Breaking away from previously painted expectations is often not easy. What I have learned in the last few years as a mom, however, is to take things as they come and see all the beauty in them, rather than chasing after an ideal image. Because otherwise you just miss all the precious moments.